Double jokes

Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?

A kid tell me he was gonna f**k my mom on Fortnite! So I told him I was gonna double pump his mom until she was wet like moisty meyers.

Like if you're not a gay.

Dislike if you're furry.

Repost if you HATE blacks.

Comment for VBUCKS.

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The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!

How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice?

Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear.

I had amnesia once... maybe twice.

Read this word:

Heroine.

Did you read it like the drug or like a female superhero?

I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."

A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."

Are you gay? "No." Oh, so you're not happy? "No." Oh...

For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.

A man went to buy 5 undies, so he said, "Hi, 5 undies, please, 1 for each weekday." Then another man comes and said, "Hi, 7 undies please, 1 for each day, and they'll finish cleaning by Sunday." So the cashier said, "Now that's more like it!" And then another person said, "Hi, 12 undies please, wait, I'm gonna double check... January... fe"

When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...

Yo mama is so fat Thanos snapped twice.

My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.

Fat people are the reason we have double doors.

Slavery has existed in the western world for 3 centuries, but in the Arab regions it has existed before and is still going on, so why don’t people talk about it?

Because it’s only bad when white people do it.

Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.

"When Republicans do politics, it's a crime. But when Democrats commit crimes, it's politics." ---Tyler Nixon

A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”

I asked someone why they were crying. They told me that they had to abort their twins.

Then someone yelled "DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!"