Ur built like a double cheese burger
Stephen Hawkins died because his wife misunderstood him when he said "My Windows Needs Updating" she had the double glazing removed and he fell out and died.
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on man keep your chin up. Wait which one
Why do Orphans sleep in a double bed??
Because their parents can't!
What do you call someone with notorious special needs and an extra chromosome? The double trouble.
Yo mama so fat, when she was a spy she was called double obese
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road."
My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide so we made it double
Water to his Dad, Steam: Hi, Dad, I mist you! Steam: double-you(w). aich(h). ay(a). tee(t)?
What did the orphan get for Christmas nothing because his parents ran away double whammy orphan jokes r like a kid with cancer it never gets old 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌
This is why they dont want to sell the double manhattan in pubs anymore
Time for double joke tuesday
What is a bird's favorite letter?
A C gull
So I won a round of CSGO with my team, then on VC, some kid trash talked me
Kid: Your a dick, you know!
Me: And your a pussy, you know?
what do you call a twinkie with two pairs of pants? double trousers
A kid tell me he was gonna f$&k my mom on Fortnite! So I toldhim I was gonna double pump his mom untill she was wet like moisty meyers
like if your not A GAY
dislike if your furry
repost if you HATE blacks
omment for VBUCKS
sub to me on youtube its my friend and he has aids send himjoeide53rygq2ej/le nb rfcshsu 3nurtv N3Q5UERIUGWTC7w2VWGYEHIWAWASERYAANFYINSIDEFREHJOBUGFUYWUSGRFYDIDYFRG911
A man went to buy 5 undie so he said hi 5 undis plz 1 4 each weekday.and then another man comes and said hi 7 undies please 1 for each day and theyll finish cleaning by sunday so the cashier said now thats more like it and then another person said hi 12 undies please wait imma double check january fe
I asked someone why they were crying. They told me that they had to abort there twins. Then someone yelled "DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!"
Sans: I like eating ketchup, don't believe me? It's ASRIEL as it gets! UT Sans to UT pap: You FORGHETTIE the spaghetti!!! Ink sans: umm lust? That's INKAPPROPRIATE! Fell sans: I hate these double standards...if you burn a body at a crematoriom you're doing "a good job" do it at home and your "destroying evidence." Error sans: every time you make a typo, the errorists win..
A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a beer. After 10 shots of vodka they guy had, the bartender figured if he talked to him he would tell him everything as he’s not sober.
Bartender: Hey that’s some nice jewellery you have there it must be expensive.
Guy: Yeah this bracelet is made of 100% diamond. It costs me like 250 thousand dollars. What a bargain eh.
Bartender: Seems like you make a lot of money. What you do for a living?
Guy: I take cash from the bank and don’t give it back. It takes a lot of moral courage to rob banks to provide for my family.
Bartender: What? If that’s the case then why do you even pay for the jewellery or this beer. You’re a hypocrite that’s what you are, justifying robbing people as a living.
Guy: Hypocrite? You’re right I m living with double standards to justify my actions.
(5 seconds later)
Guy: Aye open the cash register and give me your wallet or I will blow your fucking brains out. I fucking hate hypocrites and I will not gonna be one of em!
