DoS jokes

What do you call a gay kid that killed himself?

A byebyesexual.

Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."

A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"

The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂

I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.

Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.

Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."

A kid gets home from school and finds his mom and dad having sex. The kid asks, "What are you doing, Dad?" The dad replies, "Having sex with your mom, son," and he starts laughing.

The next day, Dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan. The dad shouts, "What the hell are you doing, son?" The kid replies, "It's not funny when it's your mom, is it?"

A little girl being Girl: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."

Priest: "What did you do, child?"

Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."

Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"

Girl: "Because he touched my hand."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)

Girl: "Yes, Father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he touched my breast."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)

Girl: "Yes, Father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, Father."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)

Girl: "Yes, Father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"

Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "But, Father, he had AIDS!"

Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"

I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said, “Let me break it down for you like the Twin Towers.”

What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.

Home Covid Test.

1: Open a can of beer and try to smell it.

2: If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.

3: If you can taste it and smell it, this confirms you don't have Covid.

Last night, I did the test 15 times and all were negative. Tonight I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and feeling like I am coming down with something.

I am so nervous.

Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?

A. An assault rifle.

Why do orphans love having sex?

Because they can finally call somebody "daddy."

What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.

How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.

How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.

What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"

The only thing I do straight is vodka.

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

You nail its other hand to the ground.

What do you call a grown-up orphan? Homeless.

What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?

Reload and keep shooting.

"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"

"Yes, sir?"

"Do you have frog's legs?"

"Why, yes."

"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"

What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make noise when you throw them.