DoS jokes
How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?
It isn't hard.
*on a date*
me - "I get to work with animals all day."
her - "How sweet! What do you do?"
me - "I'm a butcher."
How do you win an argument against a emo? kick the chair.
Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?
A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.
What did Hellen Keller do when she fell in a hole?
She screamed until her hands got tired.
Memes
What do the twin towers and genders have in common? There used to be two, now they're a sensitive topic.
I don't get why cancer is so hard to beat. I'm already on stage 4.
A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."
What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?
Showing them the ropes.
One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."
A Mexican was doing a magic trick. He said, "uno, dos," then disappeared without a trace.
Why do orphans have water with cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
How do you circumsize a hillbilly?
Kick his mother in the jaw
What's the worst thing about committing suicide? You can only do it once.
What's the only regret you would have when you eventually kill yourself? It wasn't sooner.
Why do the French eat snails?
They don't like fast food.
Child: *drinking milk*
Farmer: Hey, what are you doing?
Child: Oh, I just milked one of your cows.
Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls.
Child: *realizes*
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it. It ain't coming.
What do milk and Make-A-Wish kids have in common? They both have expiration dates.
Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying, Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died, and two weeks later, Bob woke up to Brad's voice. Brad said, "I've got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you're up to bat next."
What game do emo kids love the most? Hangman.