DoS jokes

Why do gay kids always fail exams ? Becuz they can't think straight

A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.

"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

The boy licked his cone and replied:

"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"

How do emos compliment each other?

They say, "I like your cuts g."

What do you call a fight between an illegal immigrant and a pedophile? Alien vs Predator.

What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?

The rooster says... "cock-a-doodle-doo." The prostitute says... "any cock will do."

What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?

Cocaine.

How do you get four prostitutes on one chair?

You turn it upside down.

A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."

The room was full of arm amputees.

What do you call an Asian who can't hear?

Wha U Sai

How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.

How do you know that the U.S. sucks at chess?

They lost two towers.

Why do orphans like Batman? They are 50% like him.

You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed, but you only have 2 bullets left. What do you do?

Shoot the lawyer. Twice.

I don't always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.

What do a crippled person's legs and the Twin Towers have in common? They both went down and never came back up.

what do you call a suicide bomber that loves water? a bath bomb.

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?

Their last big hit was the wall.

What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?

Little boys' pants half off.

Me: If a skinny person goes skinny dipping, then what do fat people do?

My friend: Chunky dunks.

How do you cut ancient Rome in half?

With a pair of Caesars.