How do rappers like their pizza?
With extra bars and dough!
What instrument do skeletons play?
The Trombone!
A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."
Guys, should I do it? You know what I mean.
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
What do we want?!
A cure for Tourette's!!
When do we want it?!
Cunt!!!
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
What do you call a rapper who works at the BANK?
Lil Teller.
What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
