Door

Door jokes

Rabbit

So, once upon a time, there was a man who lived in his house with his wife.

He got up to go out to work and closed the front door behind him.

Not even four seconds later, he came back inside panicking, saying, "There's a rabbit with a gun outside!"

The wife replied, "Oh, don't worry, rabbits don't have guns. They can't shoot people; you must be imagining things."

The man calmed down for a few minutes, and after some reassuring, he eventually decided to try to go back out to work again.

So he stepped outside the front door, and the rabbit shot him.

Stranger

Stranger: Knock knock.

Person: Who's there?

Stranger: Sugma.

Person: Sugma who?

Stranger: Sugma balls, kid!

Justin Bieber

If Selena Gomez wasn't really single after Justin Bieber dumped her, I would wait for her to come by my house, take her fine ass in my room, close my door, and give her some sex medicine until she masturbates.

Job

I have a great job for you, but you have to start it off...

Knock, knock...

Who's there?

I don't know?!?

Brother

Little Johnny is walking in the hallway and goes in his brother's room and catches him watching something, so he asks, "What you watching?" His brother replies, "Nothing," and drops his phone. But then he gets a text from his teacher, who texted him a picture of her naked, saying, "After school come fuck me." So Johnny looks and says, "Ew, I'm telling Mom," and he ran with his brother's phone and showed his mom, and his mom said, "Ok, Johnny, I'll take care of you brother," and she told him to leave, and he did.

And his brother ran in his mom's room naked, and his mom said, "Oh, that's big. How about you do what your teacher told you to do to her, to me?" And a few hours later, Johnny heard weird noises coming from the room, so he walked in and saw them (his brother and mom) having sex, so he closed the door and walked away.

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  • Blonde

    How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?

    She opens the car door.

    Computer

    If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows.

    It would have had doors, but why was it ever spelt DOS?

    Truth

    Face the truth, Jake could have went on the door, but Rose wanted him to die.

    Chicken

    Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit the idiot.

    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    The chicken.

    The chicken who?

    *Silence*

    Exam

    The exam is knocking at my door... so I ran away from the window.

    Detention

    Me: Knock, knock.

    Teacher: Who is there?

    Me: Boo.

    Teacher: Boo who?

    Me: Stop being a crybaby and open the door!

    Teacher: ......

    Me: Aw man, detention again.

    Boat

    One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.

    Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.

    Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."

    Fridge

    20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off.

    Okay, moving on, you took too long. How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply:* Idk how many)

    3: Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door.

    How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply:* 3...)

    Wrong, 4: Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door.

    Why did Sully fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.

    Butt

    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    The butt.

    The butt who?

    The butt goes mooooo!

    Water

    African Kid: "Mom, can we have water?"

    Mom: "Sure, it's in the house."

    African Kid: *Goes to the fridge and opens the door searching for cold water*

    The fridge: ERROR 404 Water Not Found

    Headache

    A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.

    His wife asked what that was for.

    "It is for your headache."

    "I don't have a headache."

    He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"