Door jokes
Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.
One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry, baby!
Villager: KNOCK KNOCK
Steve: Who's there?
Villager: I'm not talking anymore.
Steve: I'm not talking anymore who?
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 2: LIKE: When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door and the autistic kid opens it.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team, but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
Vote for the better joke.
My brother got his legs chopped off, but someone FBI opened my basement door, but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basement.
Memes
"we are not the same"🖕🗿🖕
A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot.
One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $10 "pay" to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."
"Oh, my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the fucking sheet rock!"
So, once upon a time, there was a man who lived in his house with his wife.
He got up to go out to work and closed the front door behind him.
Not even four seconds later, he came back inside panicking, saying, "There's a rabbit with a gun outside!"
The wife replied, "Oh, don't worry, rabbits don't have guns. They can't shoot people; you must be imagining things."
The man calmed down for a few minutes, and after some reassuring, he eventually decided to try to go back out to work again.
So he stepped outside the front door, and the rabbit shot him.
Stranger: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Stranger: Sugma.
Person: Sugma who?
Stranger: Sugma balls, kid!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Abajo.
Abajo who?
I have abajo of water with me.
Why did Adam commit suicide? Andy went through the back door.
I have a great job for you, but you have to start it off...
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
I don't know?!?
If Selena Gomez wasn't really single after Justin Bieber dumped her, I would wait for her to come by my house, take her fine ass in my room, close my door, and give her some sex medicine until she masturbates.
Little Johnny is walking in the hallway and goes in his brother's room and catches him watching something, so he asks, "What you watching?" His brother replies, "Nothing," and drops his phone. But then he gets a text from his teacher, who texted him a picture of her naked, saying, "After school come fuck me." So Johnny looks and says, "Ew, I'm telling Mom," and he ran with his brother's phone and showed his mom, and his mom said, "Ok, Johnny, I'll take care of you brother," and she told him to leave, and he did.
And his brother ran in his mom's room naked, and his mom said, "Oh, that's big. How about you do what your teacher told you to do to her, to me?" And a few hours later, Johnny heard weird noises coming from the room, so he walked in and saw them (his brother and mom) having sex, so he closed the door and walked away.
How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?
She opens the car door.
The exam is knocking at my door... so I ran away from the window.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit the idiot.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
*Silence*
Face the truth, Jake could have went on the door, but Rose wanted him to die.
If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows.
It would have had doors, but why was it ever spelt DOS?
What did the girl say when she ran through the door?
Ouch.
Me: Knock, knock.
Teacher: Who is there?
Me: Boo.
Teacher: Boo who?
Me: Stop being a crybaby and open the door!
Teacher: ......
Me: Aw man, detention again.
