me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don't it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived
Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians? Because they can’t find the motherboard.
Brojobs is like air It's not important until you don't have any
Me: Mom, I'm tired.
Mom: "Then go to sleep."
Me: No, you don't understand-
Want to know why parents don't get school shooting jokes? Because they are aimed at a younger audience.
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don't like going to school
Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey
Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?
If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed.
like this if you don't like school
What’s the difference between the twin towers and an airplane landing strip? Don’t know, neither did my dad
Someone asked me why I'm Still here...the answer is simple I don't want to be used as a school assembly
Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"
Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."
Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."
Dad: "Exactly, son."
I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them
Why are feminists jealous of men? because men don't have to stand up to piss
Why can't orphans do homework? They don't have a home to do it at.
Me: Knock knock....Friend: who's there? Me: I don't know anymore
I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.
There was a kidnapping at school.
Don't worry, he woke up.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
