Dog jokes
I was watching my boyfriend's dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When I looked down, he appeared to be dead.
My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do, so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waited for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said, "You know, your dog's been a little depressed lately..."
There was a doctor's room filled with 20 women, 4 kids, 15 men, and 1 dog. However, there were forty foreheads. How is this possible?
(They will think 44 heads, not 40 foreheads.)
Because there are 40 foreheads, not 44 heads.
First Man: My dog's got no nose.
Second Man: How does he smell?
First Man: Awful.
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
What do you call a dog that is part pug, part poodle, and part cup?
A muggle! 🤠🤠🤠🤠🥴
How do you know if an Asian has been in your house?
Your dog's gone.
Your finances are done.
And your floaties.
A dog meets a cat. The cat is black and the dog is white. They have sex on site, no cap.
What dog can’t see a dog that’s blind?
What do you call a dog with no tail?
A tail-less dog.
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.
My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.
What the difference between cats and dogs? They dont have one both taste good
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick him up and sick his dick.
My dog died.
What do dogs drink? Pupsi.
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.
What did the bus say to the mail?
Dog.
Susie: Ling Ling, truth or dare?
Ling Ling: Truth.
Susie: What happened to Stacie's dog?
Ling Ling: Dare.
My dog kept chasing people on a bike. Eventually, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.