What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.
Man: Doctor where are you taking me Doctor: to the morgue Man: but Iโm not dead yet Doctor: are we there yet
Stranger- Do you need hair regrowth products Kid- No my hairline is just far back Stranger- Do you need a Doctor
A gingerbread man walks into the doctorโs office with a broken arm. He asks the doctor โDoc, what should I do? My arm is broken!โ The doctor then looks at him and says โHave you tried icing?โ
Yo mama so dumb, when the doctor told her she had coronavirus, she bought a new laptop
Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.
I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.
Did you hear about the roofer who went to the doctor? He had shingles.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you. But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, โYouโll be next!โ They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Why did the fish go to the doctors?
Because he was felling โeelโ
What did the doctor say to the terminally ill Power Ranger It's Morphine Time
The doctor had an ego so big It fell into the ocean fast
The doctor said I would make it but then spider man came in holding a ps5
Doctor: Iโm sorry, I canโt see you today. Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow? Doctor: No, I canโt ever see you. Orphan: Why? Doctor: Because Iโm a family physician.
Woman: Doctor doctor I've been raped.
Doctor: Sex is good for you
So a woman gives birth to a child and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down and starts swinging it around the room and slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, โLet my baby go you sick bastard!โ, and the doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, โIโm just kidding, it was already dead.โ
The doctor told me in color blind... Me: that's out of he purple
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgent coming in tomorrow im super excited to work with him the next day we had to do our first ever open hart surgery so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient so we finished the surgery and went out side for a smoke and we were talking I said why did you keep the patients blood on your glove? He replied we in my free time I test it for anything diseases HIV the next day I got invited to his house and we had some drinks I said this is amazing red tea what is in it just the 2000 people you have cut opened .
Yo mama so ugly, when she was born the doctor tried to put her back in.
