Why did Trump decide to build the wall?
Because China built a wall and they do not have any mexicans.
doctor: you need to eat healthy
me: no
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after i suggested it died
me: oh my goodness
doctor: in a plane crash
me: that sounds unrelated
doctor: i'm the one that crashed it. do not disobey me
Why can't orphans go to Home Depot? Because the do not have a home!
DO Not Touch - the worst thing you can read in Braille
Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
I went to the “lists of women” page on wikipedia and it was blank. either, wikipedia is proving w*men do not exist or john cena decided to come out as transgender
What do women and Nvidia have in common?
They both do not make very good drivers.
What's the hardest thing to do?
Not kill your sibblings. (Put the knives away >:)
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.
why do you think after death the angle says do not be afraid search up biblically accurate angles
Dear clothing websites if it's put of stock DO NOT ADVERTISE IT
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes) 1. What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick
2. I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.
3. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They're painful to look at.
5. Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.
6. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
7. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
8. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell legalise and programme correctly.
Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.
There never was a historical jesus christ. Hey do not even dream of crucifying me.
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us
It’s been a few weeks, and its clear that you do not have that sense
Roses are red Your blood is tooyou look like a monkey and belong in a zoo Do not worry i will be there too not in a cage but laghing at you
Warning:if u dont like gummy bears DO NOT READ
Q:what do you call a mexican gummy bear
A:Delici-Oso
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why do orphans cry alone. They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.
