Do not jokes

I was stark nude. Hehe, I was. I truly and sincerely was.

The nurses giggled and said, "Joseph, why the hell is your wiener so loving?"

My penis purred and stroked their hands. I laughed and said, "I do not know."

Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.

Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.

Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.

Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.

Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.

Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.

Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.

Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)

Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.

Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.

Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.

Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.

Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.

So it is women who have more rights.

So shut up, feminists, please.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.

Here [are] some questions firesharky:

1. What color hair do u have?

2. What[s] MY parents['] names? What hospital [were] u born in?

3. What state [were] u born in?

Do not say I don't know.

What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

What do you call crabs that do not share their food?

They are shellfish! (ノ≧∀≦)ノ

Who is the Hamburglar's perverted cousin?

The Turdburglar.

You really do not want to see the mess these two make of the washrooms in a fast food joint.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they do not know where home is.

I do not have enough information to complete this request. Can you please provide the joke?

Tj if you don't stop trying to ruin Gwen and Prince's relationship then I will scream!!!!!!!!!!

It's some dumb faker and what point of she just wants to be your friend do not understand!

What do you get if you do not eat? Dry.

When a sign says "Do Not Walk on the Grass," it does not apply to Stephen Hawking.

"We are trans. We are Gay. We are lesbian. We are Bi."

We Do Not Care.

What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.

What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.

What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.

You do not spell "computer" like this; you spell it like this: "cumputer."

Do not roast. *sigh in depression*

Why can orphans get away with being bad at school?

They do not have parents to bring to parent/teacher conferences.

Why can't two Chinese make a white baby?

Because two Wongs don't make a white.

I told you ten puns to make you laugh, and I do not pun in-ten-did.