Disabled jokes

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.

He said it was the most violent book he ever read.

What do you call a person in a wheelchair?

Anything they can't catch you.

There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.

What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.

Why are Liverpool not disabled friendly?

They never walk alone.

My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.

Give a blind kid a gun and tell him it's a hair dryer.

I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.

Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.

How does a disabled kid walk to school?

He wishes he had the facilities to.

Why did the blind man cross the road?

Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.

My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms or legs? Matt.

How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.

What did the blind kid get for his birthday?

I don't know, he still didn't look.

I dumped the dead, disabled person's body into a dumpster full of rats.

How do you make a disabled person cry?

Let's go play tag!

What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."

Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.