Disabled jokes
Pick up lines.
"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"
"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."
I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣
I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and roared, "Hot wheels!"
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
6 was afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared?
Because 10 was in 9/11.
My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.
Why do people eat food?
Coz it tastes good lol.
What do you say when a handicapped man forgets something? "He knew it like the back of his hand."
What is a gay person’s favourite meal?
Willy con carne.
Today I feel Qatari. Today I feel Arab. Today I feel African. Today I feel gay. Today I feel disabled. Today I feel a migrant worker.
Why does a deaf kid always like football? He gets signed.
What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people?
A cabbage patch.
What language do Gays speak?
HOMOGRAPHY maybe...
In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.
Why?
They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.
I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.
So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!
There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."
How are this joke and the kid with cancer alike?
It never gets old.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.
He said it was the most violent book he ever read.