Dis jokes

My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.

The man who invented Velcro died.

RIP.

Where do you go when Steve Hawkins dies?

Microsoft.

Stephen Hawking died because he got unplugged from his Ethernet cord.

My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.

Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.

I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.

Your mama is so stupid, her phone died, so she buried it in the backyard!

What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?

Answer: fire.

I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏

If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?

The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.

Me: It's so sad Ironman died of ligma. You: What the heck is an Ironman? Me: Ligma balls. "snap" ^kaboom^

It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.

Bin Laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1. 🤣🤣🤣

One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂

Jack & Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy...but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c0ck cuz Jill's real name was Randy.

A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?

Answer: He was born on February 29.

What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?

"Windows shut down sound."

A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.

I will always remember my grandfather's last words before he died: "Is that a real chainsaw?"

There's a plane crash. Every single person died.

Who lived? The married people!