Dis jokes

Queen Elizabeth died a couple weeks ago. I'm still trying to find the reboot catd.

My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?

My emo friend got jealous when my phone died.

My uncle died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good. He died during 9/11.

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.

Do emos get jealous when their phone dies?

Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.

She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”

Yo mama so ugly, she the real reason all the dodos died.

Twin monks who ring the church bells died.

Now they are dead ringers. :)

A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.

IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!

Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

"Hey, Prince, I want to say, "Don't die, I love you!"

What was Stephen Hawking's last message before he died: "Server shutting down."

Little Johnny attends school regularly and often brings a box of sultanas as a gift to his favorite teacher.

One morning Little Johnny attends class without a box of sultanas.

The teacher enquires, why Johnny "where is my box of sultanas?"

Johnny replied, "Sorry, miss, my rabbit died."