Dis jokes

If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?

The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.

Me: It's so sad Ironman died of ligma. You: What the heck is an Ironman? Me: Ligma balls. "snap" ^kaboom^

It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.

One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂

Jack & Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy...but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c0ck cuz Jill's real name was Randy.

I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.

What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?

"Windows shut down sound."

"Hey, Prince, I want to say, "Don't die, I love you!"

I will always remember my grandfather's last words before he died: "Is that a real chainsaw?"

There's a plane crash. Every single person died.

Who lived? The married people!

A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?

Answer: He was born on February 29.

Where do you go when Steve Hawkins dies?

Microsoft.

Stephen Hawking died because he got unplugged from his Ethernet cord.

What was Stephen Hawking's last message before he died: "Server shutting down."

My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.

Why did Sally not come home from school today?

Because she died by a flying brick!