Dis jokes
I got jealous when my phone dies.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
Ex: baby i miss u.
Me: sorry i can't talk, i'm at a funeral.
Ex: who died?!
Me: my feelings 4 u, bitch.
I asked an emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.
My uncle died on September 11. He was the greatest pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
Memes
You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.
What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?
Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.
What happened after Technoblade died?
Everyone got raw pork chop.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for a glass of H2O. The second one asks for a glass of H2O, too. The second one dies. Why?
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
I'm logging out.
What's the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement?
Baby Jesus died a virgin.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not! He got nailed before he died.
My dad died in 9/11.
He was the best pilot I ever knew.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Di.
Di who?
See, easily forgotten.
My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.
What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: βHoles gonna be big.β
My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.
One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.
My grief counselor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn't care.
I bet emos get jealous when their phone dies.