Diet jokes
Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?
He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.
How many potatoes to feed the elephant?
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
Why can't fat kids play poker?
They eat all the chips.
Why did Amy Winehouse snort Splenda?
She thought it was Diet Coke.
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
If you are what you eat,
why is Jeffrey Dahmer white?
I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.
I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.
(Extra Cholesterol)
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"
Why is yo mama so fat? She follows rap boat's diet.
Why are obese jokes so offensive?
Because fat people have enough on their plate.
Your mom is so fat that she only knows three letters, which are "KFC."