Didnt jokes
Why didn’t the orphan play baseball?
Because I took the bat and swung it at their kneecaps, and now they can’t run. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.
My attempt in 2021.
And my attempt this year.
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
I made a website about orphans.
It didn’t have a home page!
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?
They cry...
They scream... with joy.
"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."
Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...
Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.
Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.
Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
Did you hear about the baseball game between America and Ethiopia?
America - 8
Ethiopia - didn't.
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
Why did the teacher yell at the orphan?
Because he didn’t do his homework.
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not Susie.
Why is the Pentagon mad?
Because it didn't get two pizzas, but only one plane pizza.
What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?
The subway guy didn’t get away with it...
I didn't come into the prostitution business...
It came into me.
A woman went into her garden and danced in front of her vegetables.
The next morning, her corn didn’t grow, and the tomatoes didn’t blush or turn red, but the cucumbers grew four inches.
I told a 9/11 joke to my friends today.
It didn't land well.
An orphan girl's boyfriend broke up with her, what was his reason?
"If her parents didn't want her, why should I?"
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
Why did Stephen die so early?
He didn't use long lasting batteries.
Why can't orphans have cereal? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.