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Covid

Advice · 3 years ago

..

A text message exchange. One person asks, "busy later?", then asks, "free today?". The other person replies, "I have covid". The first person then responds, "oh fuck" and then writes, "lemme pound you w a mask on though".

Braille

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first person sends a message in blue text saying: "aye dumbass your girl cheating on you". The second person replies in a black text bubble: "I'm blind". The first person then sends another message in blue: "oh shit", followed by a message consisting of braille dots. The second person responds in a black text bubble: "That fucking whore".

Accident

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A text message conversation. The first message says, "What's up?" The second says, "Dude, you're going to kill me. I was a little drunk last night and talking to your wife and I ended up banging her car in the driveway when I pulled out. I think I hit your daughter's bike too. I'll come fix it later, but please say sorry for me to your wife." The third message says, "Not delivered". The last message says "and your daughter".

Dog

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a phone screen displaying a text conversation. The first message reads "FBI Agent: Do it bro". Followed by the user: "My dog just ran away", "Yah" and "I still have a boyfriend". In between, the FBI agent texts "I'm so sorry to hear that" and "I'm here if you need anything". The last message by the user reads "And I still have my dog."

Name

Frog · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a text message conversation where the contact is named "Not My Drug Dealer" and the first message says "Don't save my name as anything sketchy" followed by "Okay man I gotchu.". Below is an image from a video game showing "SNEAK 100"

Horse

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A dark horse wearing a hat is inside a bar. The text above says "You're never gonna believe what just happened" and the response is "Tell me". The text below says "horse in the bar".

Turkey

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A dog is on top of a raw turkey in a roasting pan. The image is a screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message says "OMG GET DOWN HERE! THOR GOT THE TURKEY!! HE'S HUMPING IT AND SNARLING AT EVERYONE!!!". The second says "My baby's in love!". The third message says "MOM NOT FUNNY! What are we going to do?? We have people to feed!". The last message says "Oh relax, we'll just wash it off and cook it. No one will know."

Police

Big Jim · 10 months ago

They had to teach him a lesson

A photo shows three police officers (two men and one woman) standing with a young boy on a sidewalk in a residential area. The boy is holding a pizza box. The text beneath the image describes a scenario where a 15-year-old misused 911 to order pizza. The police initially delivered the pizza to teach him a lesson, followed by the dark punchline: "Then shot him 20 times."

Man

The Unknown King of Moderation · 3 years ago

Relatable

The meme shows three images, and the text 'men honestly are something else' above them. The first one is a chat message from 'Ri Guy' at 10:38 PM asking 'Do u have a paper clip?', with the response 'On the floor by my file cabinet'. The second and third images show a file cabinet, a bottle of cleaner and a single paperclip on the floor next to the cabinet.

Bro

Face mcshooty · 1 year ago

A basketball player is about to dunk while the caption states: How that one bro feels after leaving you on delivered all day like your one of his side pieces.

Abortion

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A photo shows a doll that resembles an unborn baby next to text that reads: "If I was a girl, I would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions after the third month of being pregnant so I would deliver a potato sized 1/3 developed dead fetus, then I would take the fetus, put it in a jar of preservative liquid and put it on a shelf in a secret room in my house, and I would do it until I had so many the rooms walls were nothing but potato sized aborted fetuses. Then I would have a kid and when they're bad I would make them sit in the fetus room and remind them of how easy I could have aborted their ass."

Text message

JakeFromFakeFarm · 3 years ago

Too relatable

A screenshot of a text conversation with "Mom" shows messages that read, "Where are you? x," followed by a series of replies from the other party that escalate from "I'm coming hoe" to "*home," then "Home!" and "HOM!" ending with "Fucking piece of shit". The second, third and fourth message shows a red exclamation mark, indicating that the message has not been delivered.

Text message

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A text message conversation. It starts with a message from "fbi agent" saying "You welcome, don't mess this up king". Followed by a question "Wyd", the reply "playing xbox with the boys", then "you?" and finally a message saying: "Parents aren't home come over".

Girl

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a text message exchange. The first message reads: "Aye dumbass your girl cheating on you." The second message reads: "I'm blind." The third message reads: "Oh shit", followed by another message written in braille and reading: "Sorry, I can't see you." The final message reads: "That fucking whore."

Pizza

Cupツ · 2 years ago

The image shows a stack of pizza boxes from Seasons Pizza. The text on the boxes reads "SEASONS PIZZA" and "FIND US ON @SEASONS".

Food

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message is from "Roger from doordash" who asks to pick a number between 1 and 10. The recipient replies with "4". Roger responds "Wrong, no food for u". The recipient then asks "What", "Why", and "Roger please".

Acid

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A person with white face paint looks into the camera. Above the image the text 'I'm on acid right now haha' is displayed. Below the image is a text in Amharic that translates to 'Because of the actions you have done, your family will spill blood. They will feel eternal pain for your actions. The tears they shed will turn to blood. The pain they feel will be unbearable. Soon you will be alone.' Below this text, is the text: 'Fuck you'

Insult

what’s dudeese · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a text message conversation on a black background. The first message, in a dark gray bubble, says, "If I jumped from your ego to your intelligence I'd die". The second message, in a blue bubble, replies, "Yeah but if I jumped from your ignorance to your reasoning I'd die of old age before I hit anything". Below the messages, an iMessage input field and various app icons are partially visible.

President

Shower thoughts · 2 years ago

Why does the president take so long to deliver each sentence?

He’s just Biden his time.