Deliver jokes

Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, but bigger ones need a crane.

Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.

1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.

2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.

4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.

5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!

7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!

8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!

9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!

10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!

Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?

A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.

What did the Indian say when the pizza was delivered to him?

"Hey! Who puked on the frybread?"

I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.

Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.

You look like a 2020 hologram of COVID-19.