Death

Death Jokes

Word

What were Paul Walker's last words?

I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"

Pineapple

Three Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them, and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand.

The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him.

The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy, so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied, "It didn't tickle at all. I laughed at the sight [of] the third guy was bringing over a pineapple."

Word

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:

"You need to park a little closer."

Body

I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.

Hitler

When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.

Friend

Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong-king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said, "I am Chong-king." I said I know your name is Chong-king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.

Anyone know what happened?

Suicide

Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.

Car

Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.

Walt Disney

I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏

Victim

Who were the fastest readers on the planet? 9/11 victims, they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.

Emo kid

What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.

Plane

If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.