911 what's your emergency?
Me: Officer, my girlfriend is dead!
Operator: What happened!?
Me: She bit the tip.
911 what's your emergency?
Me: Officer, my girlfriend is dead!
Operator: What happened!?
Me: She bit the tip.
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.
He’s not dead, just his storage unit.
Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodnight Grandma. Goodbye Grandpa!
Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?
Child: I just felt like it.
The next day, the Grandpa is dead.
Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.
Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodbye Grandma.
Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?
Child: I just felt like it.
The next day, the Grandma is dead.
Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.
Child: Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy!
Dad: Oh no. If I survive until tomorrow, everything will be okay!
Survives until tomorrow.
Dad: Whew! That was nice! *Goes to house*
Mom: Honey! I was so worried about you! The mailman just dropped dead on our porch!
(If you don't get it, the mailman is the biological father)
What's the difference between Jesus and a dead, naked baby.
I don't worship Jesus.
Potters are dead xoxoxoxoxox.
Wy du ded baybies cri? Just kidng thay ar ded
What's the difference between a club and a bar?
I can only get dead hookers from the club alleyways.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
How does Hellen Keller smell. Pretty bad she's dead!
What the worse than one dead baby in a trash can?
One dead baby in ten trash cans.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.