Dead Jokes

or I dont know!

prince / lord tallie Leave Gwen alone for once! by the way you are an idiot!

Gwen The prince! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE TOTALLY DEAD AND SO I STARTED DATING TANNER! But don't worry, I'll break up with him immediately!

prince / lord tallie Oh don't worry, I love it! By the way, can't we do our late night talk? My wyfi comes out just before we can! I love you even more! 😘

Gwen Oh thanks! I thought you would hate me! And yes, we don't have to chat at night, but the days are going to be choppy. I love you!

Gwen Bo to boring jokes

Tanner Fuck off

Kenya Bailey Excuse me?

Gwen Tanner, it was all my fault, I shouldn't have tried to date you so fast and did you see the talk about the boring jokes?

Zre Who the hell is tanner?

Ha Wait a second, he's your boyfriend!

Kenya Bailey Okay guys, let's not get into your business, okay! Let's see funny jokes

ha Yes you're right

Zre Ok

Zre Still, who the hell is Tanner! But hey, this your toddler's toy! Even though i thought i was prince

Gwen I thought Prince was dead so I started dating Tanner, then I realized Prince was alive.

Two hunters are in the woods and one falls to the ground. Terrified, he dials 911 and says “Help! I think my friend is dying. What do I do?” The nurse says, “I need you to make sure he’s dead. The hunter replies, “Ok I’ll be right back.” The nurse is startled after hearing a gunshot. The hunter comes back and says “I checked. Now what do I do?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his heart has completely stopped.” She is startled when she hears the sound of a taser. The hunter comes back and says “What’s next?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his brain has completely shut down.” The nurse is once again startled when she hears the sound of a bone being crushed by what seemed to be a hammer. The hunter comes back and asks “Anything else?” The nurse says “Nope. That’s it.”

what you call a indian person not starving dead

what do call an ophans parents dead meat

So, this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well, the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road, he starts speeding. Eventually, he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, "Is my wife okay? She was carrying my child." The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes, "APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage."

you see a cat its dead you are dead

Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.

After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes.

The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it:

"Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please."

His friends laugh on the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep.

After a good night's rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went.

The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn.

The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared.

The receptionist responds:

"Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke."

Hey~ How ya doin'?~ Well I'm doin' just fine~ I lied~ I'm DEAD inside~ Don't~ Tell me 'it's gonna be alright'~ I've tried, but I can't fight like this~ Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight~

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.

Why can’t hellen Keller drive? She’s dead

the emo kid wanted a high five i left him hanging so did the tree

what's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?

i don't know I have both

They named a road after George Floyd. It was a dead end, though.

Teacher: What do you want when you grow up?

That depressed kid in class: Dead.

Why you can't kill a depressed person?

Because they are already dead inside.

What's Micheal Jacksons' favorite hobby?

Nothing because he's dead.

Dad: Alive Brother:orphan(fault=Mother) Me:dead on the inside but sadly alive Mother:Alive... Wait a minute.. I thought you were dead mom.. right your dead to me atleast.

Why can't ghost stay happy? Because they are to skollys

Hey I just wanna be in bed I just wanna stay ahead i just feel like i am dead and i like that color red hey i am not the big fat loser and your just a big accuser you user and excuser

Say this to you sister,toxic BF,Anyone :)

imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad