So, my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn't actually tell me the joke.
Tell a dark joke to an orphan, then hit them. They'll get the punchline right away.
I will always remember my dad's last words....
"15 dollars and I'll jump."
I'll always remember my dad's last words... "Why do you have an axe? We live in the city!"
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
A bully walks up to a kid named Billy to insult him and steal his lunch money.
Later that night when he is at home, the bully’s father comes into his room to insult him and take the lunch money he stole.
The father walks down stair to check on his father in the living room. When he walks in, his father insults him and takes the lunch money.
The grandfather of the bully walks into the back yard and in the dark is Billy. The grandfather walks up to him and says “Where’s my money, you worthless old fart?”
Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.
Wanna see something dark?
Close your eyes.
what do you call a shadow stalker REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
A 60 year old man is walking along a deserted road with a 12 year old boy. It’s getting dark, and the boy says “Hey mister, it’s getting dark and I’m scared”. The man replies, “You’re scared? I’ve got to walk back to town alone”.
What's the difference between babies and onions? I cry when I cut onions.
Do you wanna know why orphans don’t play baseball
They don’t know what home is
I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness.
What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?
Dark humor never dies!
There was once a dark room with a dark light and a terrible electrician.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”
Why are Indians dark?
Because they are born and bred in chicken curry.
How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.
Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-
Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
