I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and and everything was half off. I didn’t know back to school sales had started already!
one day little billy came in pulling up his pants the teacher asks "Where have you been billy" he says on top of beverly hill a few minutes later little willy came in the teacher asked where have you been he says on top of beverly hill 10 minutes later little johnny came in teacher says again where have you been ha says on top of beverly hill a few minutes later a girl came in the teacher says who are you she says i'm beverly hill
A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.
"Oh no, Tom's an idiot, what did he name my daughter?" she asked the nurse.
"Denise."
"That's not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?"
"Tom Junior."
There’s 365 days in a year orfans have 363 because they don’t have a mother’s or Father’s Day
P
It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.
Billy and Bobby were walking to school one day. Billy pulled out an mp3 player. "What's that?" Bobby inquired. "Oh, just something to zone out the other kids." Billy responded. The next day, Billy and Bobby were walking to school. Billy rummaged through his backpack, and pulled out an mp4 player this time. "Woah! What's that?" Bobby inquired. "Oh, just a lil something to shut out the annoying kids at school." Billy responded. The next day, Bobby noticed Billy's backpack was particularly heavy looking. Billy rummaged through his backpack just outside the school, and pulled out an mp5 rifle. "Holy shit, dude! What the fuck is that for?" Bobby gasped. "Nice huh? This'll shut those fuckers up for good!" Billy replied.
Yo mama so fat, i took a picture of her last christmas and its still printing to this day
one day i walk up to a emo kid i realized he had a fresh cut so i grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him i like ya cuts g
2 Kids told their parents they saw a man late a night entering their house on Christmas night The day later they found out several houses were robbed
Jaylie 😠: I don't care, what he said was so out of line!
Harvey 😁: It's funny!
Jaylie😠 : He said "Stupid, silly bitch face I raised! I should have known!" That's not funny, harv!
Harvey 🙁: Come on Jay. Give Chris a chance?
Jaylie 🙄: Sorry but I'm a stupid, silly bitch face he raised. He should have known!
Harvey😟: That's not true!
Jaylie 😣: He even made fun of Kalierien. She is so sensitive!
Harvey 😡: SHUSH!!!!
Kalierien😡: Hi guys hows your day?
Harvey😁: Good!
Jaylie 🤬: Mine was like living in hell!
Kalierien: 🤬SAME!!!!!
Give a man a plane ticket, he’ll fly for a day. Push a man out of a plane flying 10,000 miles up, he’ll fly for the rest of his life.
on the first day of school, the teacher asked a student " what are your parent's names?" the student replied " my father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is smiling" the teacher said " are you kidding" the student said, "no kidding is my brother I am joking."
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly
Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!
Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on Karien.
Karien: Will I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!
Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.
Karien: That is so boring!
Daiana: Will just work with me please?
Karien: I'll give you a day...24 hours mom!
What month of the year has 28 days? Answer: All of them
If ya dont get it check the comments
Llama: Hey sheep the sheep lets play cards Sheep: llama fuck off!! Llama: whats ur damn problem Sheep: Nothing im just having a Baahd day okay dick head?
My dad And I were fishing one day
That’s where he met my step mom
Kiss a girl on the forehead make her happy for a day ......................................................................................... If you give her anal you'll make her whole weak
Good Morning Everyone! Have a good day!
Good Morning Everyone! Have a amazing day!
