Cops jokes

I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.

I was gonna stop for the cops, but I ran because I was high (the song don't copyright me plz).

Cops have the hardest job, they have to tell women they have the right to remain silent and know damn well, she will not have the ability

What do retarded cops give tickets for?

Going over 45 in a potato zone.

Why did the cops come over?

Because parents had kids in their basement.

I'm Black, when a cop sees me, he shoots.

A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.

The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"

The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."

The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"

The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."

At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."

The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."

Damn, that joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

How do you call a cop?

Through the phone.

(My puns are bad)

Me: 911, I just killed someone.

Cops: Cool, we will not come.

Me: Why?

Cops: Don't admit a crime.

Phones: *Bang Bang*

Me: Well, that was 2 crimes done.

One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles.

The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles!)

Why do you go to the bank?

To get money.

When do you run from the bank?

When the cops come.

Cops be like dead from COVID hahaha. Should have listened to the law, you dumb dead pigs!

More cops died from COVID than anything else last year, hahahaha.

They should have shot COVID instead of Tyrone on the microphone, lmfao.

A cop pulls over an old man.

The cop walks up to the old man and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

The old man said, "No."

If cops are called pigs, then security guards are piglets.

I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.

What is red, white, and blue all over?

A dead cop.

What's another nickname for a flat emo?

A copping boars.

Why can’t you yell at a kid?

Because the cops are after you.