Cool Jokes

One dark stormy night when i was 8 years old I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee, half asleep i walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door i felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically and the ghostly sound stopped, terrified I did what I had to and went back to bed. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, "you have to come with me and see this it's really important," Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can't it wait until the morning?' I pleaded, "no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically." She yawned and said, "oh so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator."

I say 1 2 3 all the kids bullied me but now they're not so cool cuz I shot up the school

people: you're ugly me: ok people: I hate you me: cool IDC people: you're annoying me: good for me people: BTS is dumb me: I'll give you 5 seconds to run

tyler is cool

I think God is cool with abortion

After all, he did kill his only son

Hey guys! Want to know something cool? Google Jesus' language. It's Aramaic. Next, google 'God in Aramaic'. See the results for yourself. <3

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow

[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

It's a cool place and they say it gets colder You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water's getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.

[Chorus 2x]

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas I need to get myself away from this place I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow.

[Chorus]

And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

Q: what do you cool a Chinese billionaire

A: Cha-Ching

i thought i saw a cool sticker on my office window, then i realized it was getting bigger and bigger

Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and whent up to her mom and asked "mom I have hair on my privates,what is it?" "OH honey thats your monkey." The mom says So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says "my monkey has hair on it" so the sister replies with a laugh "you think thats cool my monkey is already eating bananas

I just saw people writing Zoophile, Ailurophile, Dendrophilia in their bio, I thought this is cool but when I wrote Necrophile and Pedophile, Idk why people started hating me as I did something wrong, I was just trying to be cool as them man

So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with a arm missing and I thought cool display until I heard him screaming and getting the other chopped off then I said “ man now that’s a 10/10 display wow

A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied “okay cool now I’m going to go sue thin mints for not making me thin.”

fila is a cool brand. I fila cock in my ass

What was one cool thing about hitler

he used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun

It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had cool subject! The subject was about the Pendulum, the man who statpaded against small teams and camped in pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which penaldo dived like a dolphin!