Why did two 👱♂️ 👱♂️ dumb 👱♂️ 👱♂️ blondes put condoms on the cow's udders 🐄 because they wanted the 🐄 cow to practice safe sex
If a gay white male with blond hair is a prostitute you will get $175.00 back for a blowjob if you give him $20.00 If you give a can of sauerkraut to a gay white male that is a prostitute with blonde hair and who is also polish you will get the money back that he paid for the can of sauerkraut if you wanted him to give you a blowjob and if you wanted a blowjob from a gay white male that is a prostitute that is a canadian and polish with blond hair you will get the money back he paid for the bottle of maple syrup at the grocery store if you wanted him to give you a blowjob but if you wanted to fuck him up the ass he will give you the money back that he paid for the can of crisco and he will also give you the money back that he paid for the box of condoms and he will give you the change back that he paid for the box of tampons that he paid for his baby sister or you could get a free anonymous blowjob at a adult book store
who ever said condom YES DADDY
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them
The popular girl told me "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!" Two weeks later, She shows up pregnant.
... I guess her rubber broke too
GBM when he sees Soph (gets a boner) and has sex with soph but realizes he forgot to put on a condom.. soph: this is why arsenal fans are so deluded and retarded Normal Fans after they lose the game: Good game, you guys played really well. GBM: BRO REF WHAT THE BLOODY HELL YOU DELUDED ASS RETARD, OMFG WE LOST BECAUSE OF THIS REF
Adapt: Hey Adapt, Did you know your smart? Smart for being retarded Yo adapt!! You're so stupid that you gave me your roblox account info and you said thanks about it!!
Barca fans after the LFC vs Barca game: We bottled it, damn it, we'll win the Copa Del Rey tho. Commie after the LFC vs Barca game: YOU NEVER WALK ALONEEEEEEEEEE Normal People: I support only 1 team Commie: I support Barca, LFC, and AEK!! And i'm the biggest plastic in the server!!
jack and rose went on a cruise to do it in the water. jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.
Why did the condom cross the road...... Because he was pissed off.
You would think catholic churches would be in favor of condoms: less dna evidence
When Bubba's condom broke, he spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering if he was going to be an uncle or a dad.
Your mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company
Tyler only has a kid because they don't make condoms the size of Lego Men.
What do condoms and whores have in common? Answer: There is a lot that cums in every box
A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said "they're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said "they're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said "they're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."
my sister and I were hanging out when she opened her drawer and pulled out 3 condoms and said "pick one"
What did one condom say to the other condom as they were passing a gay Bar let's go get shit faced
Deer uncle i want my condoms
3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, "u would never believe what i discovered." intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. " i found a phone in the priests room." said the first nun. "oh thats nothing said the second one, i found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. " what did u do with them." said the first nun. pridefully the second nun responds with," i poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "oh sh*t...."
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives. condoms 99 percent effective birth controll 99 percent effective ect just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time ( only cost 20 years in jail ;)
tech administrator of a school: hm, a message from google security? tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT! assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME? tech administrator of a school: WEVE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE! assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! that's a good one, almost as good as the one with jack, jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right? head of school board: *whispers* yeah were fucked...
TWO HOURS LATER
important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!
AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER
