Complainant Jokes

Why did the twin towers complain to the pizza restaurant?...because they orded pepperoni pizza and got plain

An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas. "I don't understand it, Doc", she said, "I have this terrible, terrible gas". "Thankfully", she added, "they are at least silent when I fart". Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him. The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. "I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!", she yelled. The doctor said, "well, now that we've solved your hearing problem, let's see what we can do about that gas".

My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won't stop complaining about their mom

People complain we are over- populated. Well then if we committed suicide then why do they be sad. It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad peoples?

Little Johnny was staying at his grandparents house and he asked his grampa can I a cigarette and his grampa said well can your dick touch your asshole he said no. Then that's your answer. A little bit later little Johnny asked for a beer his grampa said well can you dick touch your asshole he said a I already said no. Well that your. Later he was complaining to his grandma and she him cookies. His grandpa came up to him and said can I have a cookie little Johnny said well can your dick touch your asshole his grampa said well yes it can and little Johnny said well go fuck yourself old man because these are my cookies.

How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb? 9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb

Roses are red, pussies are wet, when it goes in he gets upset, she said it’s to small, so that’s all, but later that day, he wanted to say, every time I play, no one complains, so she was just lieing, she started flying, went out of her seat, the skirt went up, the greatest of them all, everyone said, fly away big chunky balls.

I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books, Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining

Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, “Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch...; “Johnny!” shouted his mother. “Stop swearing!” “But mom!” Little Johnny protested, “That’s what the teacher taught us! And she said we should recite it till we learned it!” The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. “No, no.” said the teacher terrified. “That’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say: ‘Two plus two, the sum of which is four.'”

Dont you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin

Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes they literally look this shit up just to complain

Man Goes To The Doctor He Has A Banana sticking out of one ear , a carrot stinking out of the other ear and a green been stinking out of one nostrils. "Doctor, I'm not feeling well" the man complains. " Well, it's no wonder" The Doctor replies " You're not eating right"

A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink, the bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk, the lady complained about this but then the bartender said, "just shut up and swallow"

I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.

I snorted a line of coke off my 8 year old sister’s tiny prepubescent vag. She just laid there and let me do it without complaining. Probably because she was already dead