Class

Class jokes

Homework

  • One day a teacher says: "What does a pig give us?"

    A student says: "Bacon!"

    The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a chicken give us?"

    A student says: "Eggs!"

    The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a fat cow give us?"

    A student says: "Homework!"

    The whole class laughs.

    Emo

  • So, I am an emo dude, so I sit in the back of the class, and I talk to no one.

    But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me, so I just ignored him. Then he got really pissed off and said, "I'm gonna kill you." I was like, "You're gonna kill me just because I ignored you? Is your ego that big, wow?" He left. Then the next day he brought his goons with him and said, "Now you're dead." I ignored him again, and he said, "You will pay for this."

    So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house. Then he and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died, so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set.

    This was the best day of my life.

    This is why you never mess with emos. We have ropes everywhere.

  • 2
  • Gunpowder

  • In our history class we were on our China unit and learning a little about gunpowder.

    And I said "WOAH THAT'S LIT!"

  • 0
  • Teacher

  • The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.

    Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.

    The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

    Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."

  • 0
  • Lung

  • What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?

    Breathing exercises.

    I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!

  • 1
  • Stereotype

  • Teacher: We are going to Seville.

    Girls: Omg, it's such a beautiful city. I can't wait to explore!

    Boys: Ohh oh oh ohhh.

    Omg thanks for 1000 likes!

  • 1
  • Professor

  • An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.

    Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.

    When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”

    With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.

    “Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”

  • 1
  • Alphabet

  • A kindergarten class is learning about the alphabet. The teacher asked, "What comes after M?"

    Little Timmy reached into his backpack and yelled, "16!"

  • 0
  • Wheelchair

  • Today, a kid in a wheelchair was rolling around the class to get away from this one annoying kid, so I told him, "Brayden, just get up and walk away."

  • 2
  • AK

  • A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.

  • 4
  • Shooter

  • When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?

    Boy

  • A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."

    A boy throws his bag out the window.

    The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"

    The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."