What do orphans call their parents?
Unicorns because they don’t exist.
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
Once I saw a girl crying and asked, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at orphanages.
My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.
When is it bedtime in the Jacksons' house?
When the big hand 🖐 meets the little 🤚.
What’s an orphan's favorite game?
Catch.
What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?
Bored games.
Orphans are really out here taking selfies.
Nah bro, that's a family photo.
Isn't it sad that orphans are only allowed self raising flour? Orphan-👁👄👁
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled children.
A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.
Why aren't orphans good at Monopoly?
They don't know what a house is.
"Jonny, Jonny?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Eating sugar?"
"No, Papa."
"Open your mouth!" Shoves hand down throat-
What's worse than ten babies on one tree? One baby on ten trees.
Q: Why do orphans like boomerangs?
A: They come back, unlike their parents.
Boy and girl playing hide and seek... girl: "I found you." Boy: "What gave me away?" Girl: "Ur parents obviously."
I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.
Why do orphans have dry cereal?
Because they're still waiting on the milk.
If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”
Daughter: Dad, what's your opinion on abortions?
Dad: Ask your sister.
Daughter: But I don't have a sister.
Dad: Exactly.
