If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”
Daughter: Dad, what's your opinion on abortions?
Dad: Ask your sister.
Daughter: But I don't have a sister.
Dad: Exactly.
Chuck Norris used to be an orphan.
Because some families were too scared of his bravery to adopt him.
Me: Hey, I’m your mom.
Orphan: Yay, you came back!
Me: Sike!
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
If Jeffy goes to an orphanage, he will die. How is he supposed to move?
What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes?
Both of those are commonly found in basements.
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down.
Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.
And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
Why can orphans not go on field trips? They need a parent signature.
Orphans go to church to call someone father.
I might have to back down on this because it is usually aimed for little children.
Why can't orphans have a funeral? Because their parents won't be there.
Do you know where priests go at night?
To all night sale at Boys R Us.
I only kidnapped orphans because they have no parents to report them missing.
Poop poop poop poop poop poop pp ppppppppppppoppppppppppooooooooooooooooooooppppppppppoooooopppp children pooooooooooooooooop in diapers.
What’s a cannibal's favorite takeaway shop?
The orphanage.
Why can’t orphans ride bikes
Because they don’t have parent supervision
What do you get when you throw a pile of dead babies into a fryer?
Kentucky Fried Children!
What's it called when you eat those same babies?
Finger Lickin' Good!
