Children jokes
What's a pedophile's favorite part of Halloween? Free delivery.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
Why can't orphans close their video games?
Because they can't find the home button.
Why do orphans like milk so much?
Because they got no milk as a baby.
Q: Why can orphans swim?
A: They have or-fins.
You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Average Kid: brings mp3 to school.
Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school.
Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5.
What type of cake can orphans not have?
Homemade.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide squad.
How are Tinder and orphans alike?
You swipe left till you find the one you like.
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.
When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I'm still choosing." She looked horrified.
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
DAD: I'm bringing your toys to the orphanage.
SON: Why?
DAD: You're going to need them.
I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.