Dark humor is like cancer; it's funnier when kids get it.
1 like = 1 more child in my blender.
Hey guys, I have a question.
Doesn't everyone's parents tell them don't take candy from strangers? Then what is Halloween?
Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."
"We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.
"Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."
The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"
The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"
So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.
where cant orphans park
parent child
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.
Why was Six afraid of Seven?
Because 7 was accused of the murder of 26 children.
What do the Spanish people call child abuse? Pedrophile.
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re not wanted!
I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.
I have an orphan joke.
But it needs parental guidance.
What's the difference between a orphan and a Chinese kid? The Chinese kid has a home.
If you're bored, just go hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
No, it's not just a crotch grab. Jacko was jacking it on stage when he saw a 6-year-old boy in the front row.
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
