Child jokes
The first child, Daisy, asks her mother why she is named Daisy. The mother said, "That's because a daisy fell on your head when you were born."
The second child, Raindrop, asked why he is named Raindrop, and the mother said, "That's because a drop of rain fell on your head when you were born."
Then the third child, Cinderblock, said, "fxg,kxf dsdsvtg,hjer,btjh,rbtsvikvsdtxde43f."
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one, get one free.
Why can't an orphan ever be a criminal?
Because he isn't wanted.
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD
You are the reason why child abortion still exists in the world.
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"
So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.
He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?
They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.
If a man says you’re ugly, he likes you.
If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous.
If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.
I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
They never get love.
When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.
My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.
Now, my wrists look like a tiger.
Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?
Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.