Chemist jokes
A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.
The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.
The statistician shouts, "We got him!"
Why are there no chemists in Africa?
Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.
What do you call a Russian pharmacist?
"Ivan Astichestykov."
All real chemists know that alcohol is always a solution.
I did this chemistry joke yesterday, but I didn't get a reaction.
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How do chemists laugh?
HeHe.
What do you do with a dead chemist?
You Ni-tro-gen!
Chemistry joke: Why did the Superman being normal people when a krypton was at him?
Because krypton is "stable."
If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they would be great ALLOYS!
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you cannot helium, you have to curium. If you cannot curium, you have to barium!
What is the chemical formula for a banana? BaNa2
Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?
A: HeHe.
I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.
What is Ba + 2Na?
Ans. Banana.
If a king farts, is it a noble gas?
Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends Argon.
Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.
What do you call a man with 6.022 x 10^23 dollars?
A Moleionaire.
An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.
The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."