Chef jokes
Bully: "Hey little Timmy, you look like an ugly rat."
Timmy: "Well, at least I'm a good chef and I'm in a movie, unlike you."
Bully: Dies from embarrassment. 😱
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he was always COOKING UP RHYMES!
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he wanted to cook up some FIRE BARS!
Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”
Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”
Chef: “Why thank you.”
Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”
Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”
Why did the chief go to jail?
Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!
I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.
What was the epileptic chef’s house special?
Seizure salad.
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he knew how to mix up some beats!
What did the salad say to the chef? LETTUCE GO!!!
Nobody
Literally nobody
Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
What did the chef on the Titanic scream as he tried to finish the dishes? "Oh no, the sink sank!"
Three guys landed on a cannibal island. The cannibal chef told them if they wanted to live, they had to go get 10 of one fruit and bring it to him, and he would tell them what to do.
So the first guy brings 10 apples, and the chef said if he could shove all 10 of those in his ass without making a sound, he could live. He was three apples in and made a sound, and they ate him. The second guy brought grapes; nine grapes in, and he burst out laughing. The cannibals ate him. Then the first guy said, "Why'd you laugh? You were almost there!" The other guy who had the grapes said, "I couldn't help it, I was told the third guy came back with 10 pineapples."
My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.
What is a cannibal's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
Chiefs is an egg-cellent cook!
Her: Eat my ass!
Me: Yes, chef!