Celestial jokes

How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.

Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours, so they just called it a "day".

What did the angel say when it went to heaven? Well, halo there!

How did Stephen Hawking get up the stairway to heaven?

What is money called on the moon?

Mooney.

What candy loves shooting stars? Starbursts!

Why does Saturn have a ring?

Because God liked it, so he put a ring on it.

When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.

Uranus is a gassy planet.

Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?

Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.

Yo forehead so large, it has its own gravitational pull.

Why is the Moon red today?

The reason why the Moon takes on a reddish color during totality is a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering. It is the same mechanism responsible for causing colorful sunrises and sunsets, and for the sky to look blue.

Q: What do you call a "Wild Man" or "Wild Woman" on the Moon?

A: A Luna-Tic!

Why did the rapper bring a telescope to the studio?

To see his FUTURE in the STARS.

God- make a grumpy old man president.

Angel- why?

G- cause I said so-name him Trump.

A- okay.

G- make him not pay taxes.

A- okay...

Fast forward to 2020

G- you know that grumpy old man?

A- yea...

G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.

A- Krona.

G- exactly.

A- why do you hate humans so much?

G- because I can.

You look tall for being a yellow dwarf. You are 432,450 miles tall!

Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.

What is the richest planet?

Saturn 🪐- It has many rings.

So the other day, I was looking up zodiac sign stuff, you know, I'm a real big fan of that, and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have their own hairstyles... except Cancer.

Better call NASA and tell them there are only going to be 7 planets after I destroy URANUS.