Cattle

Cattle jokes

Field

What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?

Beef strokin' off.

Cowboy

A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?

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  • Renovation

    What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?

    It'll be udder renovation!

    Cow

    What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.

    What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.

    Cow

    Q: If there were two moo cows walking down the street, where would they be going?

    A: Home to see their mama!

    Cow

    So I'm a cow, guess what my dad thinks of that? He says I'm a loooosmer.

    Herd

    Why did the ox get kicked out of the herd?

    Because it wasn't being an ox, it was being a butt-ox...!