Cant jokes

A Karen is so stupid, she can't even cross the hairline!

An orphan goes to a doctor.

Doctor: "Sorry, I can't help you."

Orphan: "But why?"

Doctor: "I'm a family doctor."

Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?

Because he can’t do stand-up.

I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.

Why can't Mexicans play Uno?

Because they can't get a green card.

John Cena once insulted Chuck Norris. That's why we can't see him anymore.

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.

In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.

You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.

What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme.

What are three things you can't give a black guy?

A fat lip, a black eye, and a job.

Why can't orphans never run all the bases in baseball? Because they can never make it home.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Why can’t orphans go on school trips?

They need a parent signature.

Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.

Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.

Dad: Would you like to talk about it?

Son: Sure.

Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.

Son: I can't, my butt hurts.

I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't hit a home run.

What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.

Michael Jackson broke his window. What does he say? "I can't see."

I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”