Cant jokes

Husband

  • Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

    Wife: Aww, thanks.

    Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.

  • 0
  • Orphan

  • What do you call an orphan? Homeless.

    What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.

    Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.

  • 7
  • Sister

  • My sister: See you at home in about an hour.

    Me: Okay.

    My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*

    Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?

    Sister: OMG, she's dead!

    Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?

    Child

  • "Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."

    I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.