Cant jokes
Why can't orphans eat a big bag of crisps?
'Cause it's family size...?!
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
Why can't an orphan have a phone?
Because they will see a home.
I will remember my brother's last words: if you can't put a fork in a toaster, how about a spoon?
Why can't orphans have family size chip bags? Because they have no family to have them with.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't go home.
You can’t land on Uranus XD
I can't fake the smile for long, as there is weight hanging at both of its ends called depression.
Why can't male orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
Why can't two Chinese make a white baby?
Because two Wongs don't make a white.
Why do orphans hate Costco? Because they can't get in and try the free samples.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Even Steph Curry can't hit threes from behind your hairline.
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?
A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
Why can't an orphan have an iPhone?
It has a home button.
Why can’t orphans date?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?
Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.