Cant jokes
What type of deer can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
What type of horse can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
Why can't orphans ever be criminals?
He is not wanted.
Why can't orphans play sports?
They don't know what a home team is.
Why can't orphans go to a friend's house?
Because they can't make themselves at home.
Why can't orphans play football?
Because they can't be on the home team.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? She will let it go.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet.
One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son.
Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"
"Yes it is," the man replies.
"You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.
"No thanks," the man replies.
"I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues.
"OK. How much?" the man replies, after considering the position he was in.
"Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies.
"TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats. "That's awful expensive," but because of the position he was in, agreed to the price.
The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway, and again places her lover in the closet with her little boy.
"It's dark in here, isn't it?" the boy starts off.
"Yes it is," replies the man.
"Wanna buy a baseball glove?" the little boy asks.
"OK. How much?" the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his disadvantage.
"Fifty dollars," the boy replies, and the transaction is completed.
The next weekend, the little boy's father says, "Hey, son. Go get your ball and glove and we'll play some catch."
"I can't. I sold them," replies the little boy.
"How much did you get for them?" asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy.
"Seventy-five dollars," the little boy says.
"SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! That's thievery! I'm taking you to the church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness," the father explains as he hauls the child away.
At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says "It's dark in here, isn't it?"
"Don't you start that crap in here," the priest says.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Putin be like, Finland and Sweden are bullying me with NATO, the same NATO that can't even reload a gun! Russians are pussies!
I can’t help you find orphan jokes. Maybe ask their family.
Why can't orphans have a computer?
They don't have a home page.
Why can't Orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why can't orphans get a job?
Because they don't have a home.
Why can't a Leicester fan pull girls? He can only do the fox trot.
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
What type of bee can't fly...
Answer: Kobeee!
Why can’t the emo play in trees? They’ll leave ‘em hanging.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
They don't have anyone to call "daddy."