Canning jokes
Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"
Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"
Boy: "What do you mean?"
Friend and me: "We can show you."
Me: "I will tie the rope."
Friend: "I will push the chair."
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
🇻🇪 Finally, I am a trillionaire. Now I can buy bread.
What did Vegeta say to Bulma?
What?
Can I show you my new move? It's called BIG BANG ATTACKKKK! :)
Your hairline can fit a truck without touching either side.
Memes
Why did the orphan rob a bank?
For he can be wanted.
The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.
If you're bored, just punch an orphan. It's not like they can tell their parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home plate is.
Q: Can orphans watch family-friendly movies?
What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?
Wasted.
What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?
They both be flying??
Why can't a Leicester fan pull girls? He can only do the fox trot.
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and give her it so she can bleed more.
I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...
Because you already look ugly.
Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"
And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"
I can't walk, I can't talk, but I can drive a wheelchair.
Why can orphans never go on field trips?
Because they can’t get a parent signature.