Canning jokes
Why did the knight cross the road?
He can't because his armor was too heavy.
How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.
Why can't we see or sense kamikazes' bombs?
They're out of plane sight.
What can fly underwater?
A mosquito in a submarine.
Why do the orphans not play baseball?
They can never find home.
Memes
Why do orphans love to go to church?
Because they can finally call someone "father!"
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener!
Why do orphans play GTA?
So they can get wanted.
Wow, Aiden, maybe you've been mean to Tenya. She is hurting, close to killing herself, but hey, I can pick your ass since, ya know, that is what I do!
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because then they can play catch.
Husband: I look fat, can someone compliment me?
Wife: You have good eyesight.
Kalyn: Mrs. Frizzle,
Mrs. Frizzle: Sure.
Kalyn: Can you spell I-C-U-P for me?
Mrs. Frizzle: Shut up, you little fucktard!
Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?
Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.
How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.
What animal can not be trusted?
A lion 🦁.
You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why can orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why does a cow love music?
Because it can play a moo-sical instrument.
What did the skeleton say to Shrek?
"Jump on me. I can have two layers of skin too."
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"