Calculator jokes

Why did the rapper bring a calculator to the party?

To count his STACKS of CASH!

Bro used the quadratic formula to calculate the velocity of your -234 going down hairline.

Why is calculus called calc? Because you need a calculator. Lol.

2+2+67+23= Now calculate the mass of the Solar system. Be these questions these days.

Why are Asian's dicks too small?

So they can reset the calculator.

666 + 420 + 911 + 21 = ?

Do it in calculator.

I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."

Write 317537 on your calculator and turn it over to spell "Leslie."

There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!

Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!

Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*

Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.

How do you say "fish" without the "i"?

Fsh

Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.

59009 flip it backwards on your calculator... it = boobs!

There was one girl. She met 5000 guys. She had sex with each of them seven times. She became... - flip screen (=).

My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"

I said, "Paper."

She said, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"

What did the calculator say to the student?

You can always count on me.

(6x9)+6+9=69

Laila has 69 boobs, but that is 222 too many. One day, she went on 51st Street to meet Dr. X, who ate all her boobs, and now she's boobless :)

6922251 x 8 = 55378008. Put the calculator upside down.

I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.

Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.