Break up jokes
Why did Hitler's girlfriend break up with him? He Hit-ler.
How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on.
I once had a trash can as a girlfriend.
I was ready to break up with her, but all she had to say was, "Please don't dump me!" Then I said, "Sorry, I'm ready to take out the trash."
Roses are red, Violets are blue, We're breaking up because I never loved you.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.
What do you call a Titan who can't swim?
Titanic!
Imagine the Titanic with a lisp. It would be unthinkable. My version is imagine the Titanic with a lisp, it would be unsinkable.
What did the front half of the Titanic say to the other half when it hit the iceberg? I'm breaking up with you.
Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?
Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.
What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?
You shout out, "B-52!"
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message
My girlfriend is so fat that when she runs or walks, she falls, so I am breaking up with you.
🙍🏼♀️Fat girlfriend: Nooo, don’t leave me, catch me, ahhh!
🙇🏼♀️Fat girlfriend falls on boyfriend: Ahhhhhh *dump*
🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼Fat girlfriend and boyfriend: Fat girlfriend: U didn’t catch me wawawawa. Boyfriend: Get off me, 900 pounds, ugh, I hate u!
Story done. Please like.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?
"I thought what we had was special!"
Pick up lines.
"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"
"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."
What hurts the most? 😹
A. Breaking up before chewing.
B. Breaking up after chewing.
"Gwen don't want break up! Please talk to me!"
Doctor Seuss break up lines:
"One fish, two fish, blue fish, red fish, I'm breaking up with you, bitch."
"My friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat, and what happens next is really weird."
The tongue gets stuck in his throat and starts to guh-guh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever again...:/
Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?
He didn't wanna hang out.
Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"