Both jokes

If I agreed with Leo, then that wouldn’t solve anything. It would just make BOTH of us dumb.

What do me and an emo kid have in common:

We both like to hang.

What's black and white and red all over?

The darkness of your heart, the dishonor of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.

What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.

What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.

What do chicken on a plancha and emos have in common?

They both are hung.

What do girls and your hairline have in common? They are both receding.

My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.

Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?

Me: Hell yeah.

Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?

Me: Hell yeah.

Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?

Both: FUCK YEAH!

What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?

They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.

What are the similarities of an orphan and a water fountain?

They both sprout water.

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Both crews were marooned!

(On their 1-2 loss to Watford) Ty: Well, we mustn't forget that it's been raining so...

Robbie: It's been raining???

Ty: Yeah!

Robbie: Are you being serious??? It's raining for both teams!

What makes Squidward and a Quandale Dingle the same?

They both got them big parts.

What does a blind man and a PS4 have in common?

They both need to make sounds to be recognized.

Apparently terrorists and Japs are the same; they both went kamikaze.

What do the Twin Towers and my ex have in common?

They both fell on my dad.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Cause he would never look both ways.

What do apples and emos have in common?

They both hang from trees.

What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.