Both jokes

What do nerds and chicks have in common? They both have four eyes.

What do emo kids and apples have in common?

They both hang off trees.

What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?

They both be flying??

What do girl emos and boy emos have in common?

1. They both want to die.

2. They both cut to die faster.

3. They both listen to emo songs.

4. They like "I wanna die" song/"Miss wanna die."

I broke my ankles so hard I had to walk uphill both ways.

What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.

What does a blind man and a PS4 have in common?

They both need to make sounds to be recognized.

What do the Twin Towers and my ex have in common?

They both fell on my dad.

Apparently terrorists and Japs are the same; they both went kamikaze.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Cause he would never look both ways.

What do chicken on a plancha and emos have in common?

They both are hung.

What do girls and your hairline have in common? They are both receding.

What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.

What makes Squidward and a Quandale Dingle the same?

They both got them big parts.

What do apples and emos have in common?

They both hang from trees.

Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.

He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.

Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?

Me: Hell yeah.

Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?

Me: Hell yeah.

Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?

Both: FUCK YEAH!

(On their 1-2 loss to Watford) Ty: Well, we mustn't forget that it's been raining so...

Robbie: It's been raining???

Ty: Yeah!

Robbie: Are you being serious??? It's raining for both teams!

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Both crews were marooned!

My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.