Both jokes

Why is America so bad at chess?

They lost both of their towers.

What do a priest and a McDonalds have in common?

They both slide their meat in 10 year old buns.

What do priests and doctors have in common?

They both do physicals on kids.

What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?

Both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!

What's similar between a 14 year old pregnant girl and the fetus inside of her?

They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's going to kill me!"

What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?

There is none, they both go up in flames.

What do Michael Jackson and Pinocchio have in common?

They both lie over little boys 😂

What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both shove their meat between 10-year-old buns.

What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?

They're both turned on by kids.

Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?

A: They were both shot in a theater.

What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.

What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.

What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?

They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.

What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?

Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."

(I'm a trans man myself lol)

Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says, "I have some good news and bad news."

So the patient says, "What is the bad news?" the Doctor replies, "I have had to amputate both your legs." So the patient says, "Well, what is the good news?" The Doctor replies, "I have found someone to buy your slippers."

What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god, my mom's gonna kill me!"

What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)

Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.

It's not rape if you both like it.

So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."

What do a fat woman and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans.