Bolt jokes
¿Hola, quién es?
What cereal do I eat?
Captain Bolts.
Producer: We need to stop testing out products on animals.
CEO: Shampoo companies do it all the time.
Fairchild Republic making the A-10 Thunder Bolt.
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They’re draining the economy doooown!
They’ve spent our budget on weed
and lube to spill Jack’s seed.
They’ve ruined our wonderful town!
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They have no moralityyyy.
They’re spreading degeneracy.
We ain't what we used to be.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,
but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana.
They went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a “few” more beers.
Next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill!
They’ve banked off buying boooze!
They’ll drink and sell the price
at the original times thrice.
Corruption wins, the avg. folk’ll loseee.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
Their kids’re in the business tooo!
They’re draining all our banks.
Give 'em well deserved spanks.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill.
Jack and Jill Netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaake.
What a blunder, there was no rubber, now they’re a house of eeiiight!
A bolt went off, they opened shop to resell their porn and lean.
It all went swell, but for us, well, we’re now an oligarchy!
WE’LL KILL OL' JACK AND JILL!
What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
You are god if you can do any of these
Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"
If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.
Your hairline's so far back that Usain Bolt had to run 50 miles away from you!
What do you call a mix of nuts, bolts, and my ex?
A roTHOT.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
Ever wondered why Usain Bolt runs fast? He's training to outrun the cops.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head 'n Shoulders.
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? -- He nuts and bolts.
Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?
Because he successfully finished a race!
Jesus and his friend went fishing. They both cast their lines out, and both of them get a bite, but Jesus's friend misses and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's a bad sentence to say; if you say it 3 times, something bad will happen to you." They cast it out again, and both get a bite, and Jesus's friend misses again and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus replied, "If you say that one more time, something bad will happen." They cast out again, and Jesus's friend's line snaps, and he says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's the last time something bad will happen." The biggest thunderstorm ever seen appeared, and a lightning bolt struck Jesus, and a voice came from the clouds, "Damn, I missed."
What is big and fun and yellow? A school bus!
Q: What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
A: One got to finish a race.
What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that’s running late!
Why are most absent dads mechanics?
They like to nut and bolt.
Yo mama so fat, she broke Usain Bolt's 100 meter speed record by taking ONE STEP!
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.