Newest Body Jokes - Page 4 - Worst Jokes Ever

Q) Why is Technoblade's body hard??

A) Cuz he was thinking of children on his deathbed!

Why do we call it dead bodies? Nobody says alive bodies! like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG ITS FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones tho." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on husband, help me with the bodies." If its a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"

Sleep paralysis for the first time and this is what I see except it's face and body is way more stringy and hollow.

Why did the serial killer let the guy in a wheelchair go? Because the guy didn’t really have any body for the serial killer to stab

A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.

Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.

Yo momma so fat that she could fit the entire map of the world on her body.

VAPING IS ALSO BAD

DON'T SMOKE!
WHAT A JOKE!
Within 10 seconds of your first puff,
the toxic chemicals in tobacco
smoke reach your brain, heart and
other organs. Smoking harms
almost every part of your body and
increases your risk of many
diseases. Smoking also affects how
you look and feel, your finances and
the people close to you.
Smoking causes most lung
cancers and can cause
cancer almost anywhere
on the body.
Avg. Annual Deaths Attributable to Cigarette Smoking
In the United States, 2005-2009
Stroke 15,300 (4%)
Other
Diagnoses
56,800 (10%)
Chronic
Obstructive
Pulmonary
Disease
100,600 (21%)
As the nicotine levels in your body fade, your
brain craves more dopamine. The longer you
have been smoking, the more dopamine you
need to feel good. You become dependent on
nicotine.
Other Cancers
36,000 (8%)
X
More Than
479,989
US Deaths Attributable
Each Year to
Cigarette Smoking
The nicotine in tobacco is highly addictive. It makes
your brain release a chemical called dopamine.
Dopamine is a 'feel good' chemical that makes you
feel happy helps you to concentrate gives you more
energy.
Lung Cancer Stages
Lung Cancer
137,989 (29%)
Ischemic
Heart Disease
133,300 (28%)
CL
healthy lungs
early-stage cancer
late-stage cancer
Smoking is major cause of cardiovascular disease, such as heart
disease and stroke. Smoking increases the risk of blood clots,
which block blood flow to the heart, brain or legs. Some
smokers end up having their limbs amputated due to blood
circulation problems caused by smoking.

So do you guys know those waterslides that you stand in, and then they suddenly drop you straight down onto the water slide? If not, look them up on YouTube, there's nothing like them.

Ah yes, the sweet memories of my first time on one of these. I feel that my mental/emotional scars have healed enough to tell this gem.

At the time my girlfriend, now Fiancée, worked as a photographer for one of those resorts with the indoor and outdoor water parks. One of her perks was that her and a family member/friend could get into the waterpark for free, so one hot summer day she had off and we both decided it'd be fun to go there and cool down for the day.

While we were there, I discovered one of there most "Thrilling" looking waterslides. Basically you stand in this tube, and then the slide operator presses a button and this slide drops you straight down a good 90 FEET, before you actually start going down the water slide. Me, being a thrill seeker, of course had to try it. So I made the great climb up to the top of the slide, stood in line, and finally it was my turn. Once I got in the tube, the operator told me to keep my legs crossed. Now I'm a pretty big heavy guy, so I was like "That's uncomfortable as fuck, I'm not doing that". So there I was standing in the tube, having a panic attack from anticipation, with my legs not crossed. The operator finally presses the button, the bottom opens and I fall straight down the water slide. Very quickly I realized why they have you cross your legs. Water shot so far up my ass, so fast, I swear I tasted it in my mouth. My body raced down that slide, as I questioned every life choice that I have ever made.

Once I made it to the bottom, I sat there for a moment, absolutely violated. I felt like someone in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I built up the courage to finally stand up, and all I could feel was the nice warm stream of water mixed with shit, and maybe a little bit of blood shoot out of my ass faster than the Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park. I quickly got off the slide and ran to the bathroom, with a trail of shitty water tailing me as the slide operator stared in awe. They had to shut down the slide for the rest of the day :'), but man was my asshole clean after that!

Moral of the story: Keep your damn legs crossed on waterslides.

Same thing goes when you are at bible study with a handsy priest.

When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror 🪞?

meme:

Teacher: If you have 10 chocolate cakes
strawberry
and someone asks for 2, how
many do you have left?
10
Me:
Teacher:
Me:
Okay, well what if somebody
forcibly takes two of the cakes,
how many would you have left
then?
10 and a dead body.
ADMIN: Ryuji Takasu
@memeehub
PROBLEM?

Jack and Jill went up the hill so the can fetch some pee jack fell down and broke his whole body Jill just laughed and didn’t care so now they have a daughter

Pls like this I worked hard on making jokes I even have app that u can see all of my jokes but I am not telling u hehe.

Hey i never knew We had a planet in our body

Why do cheetahs have spots out side of there body’s

Because they don’t have they in the inside

The school shooter: I finally found you worthless crybabies!! The Quiet Kid: How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same? The school shooter: I don't know. The Quiet kid: When you pull them out every body wants to be your friend.