Two kids walked into a bar, they were covered with blood. the bartender asked what happened. The youngest said "Well, we we're trying to paint our basement but we threw the babies too hard".
My cousin died last week he needed a blood transfusion but we didnt know his blood type he just kept saying "b positive b positive" but its hard to be positive with him gone
-Dude, What is your favorite rapper? -He is very cold blooded -Why? -He is Ice Cube
What is black and white and is dead? My Chemical Romance
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.
what do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming..........a blood bath...bud um pst
So I made a simple cancer joke on roblox with my friend an then both hers dumb ass friends we're like, OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!! THAT PISSED ME OFF like damn woman it's not like I said, IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB ASSES. If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH
If you turn the word racecar backwards it says racecar. But if you turn the racecar sideways you have Paul walkers blood on your hands
A Man Gets Captured By Cannibals Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
Why does the nurse need a red pen?
In case she has to draw blood
Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I dont know if you heard it but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I cant tell if it is metal or techno but it is more vaulable then joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.
An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee, A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after awhile and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in".
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie ....... no one could tell that it was their blood
A 90 year old man takes a Viagra Strips of naked lies down in a ally way three chicks walks on by a blond a brunette an a red head
The red head sed I'm not letting that go to waste so she strips of an rides him when she's finished The brunette then strips of naked an rides him the blonds now worried because she just got her period the red head sez he's dead don't let it go to waste so she strips of naked an rides him then he wakes up he then send wow two jump starts an a blood transfusion I'm good to go !
Did you know that whenever i read my blood donor ID?
Because it says 'B Positive'
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like
When the grass is bloody You play in the mud...
Yo mama so fat, her blood type is mayonnaise.
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
