Why do vampires drink blood? because they can't drink bloodly Marys because they are vampires
How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick?
When there is blood coming out of your dick instead of sperm.
*World war 2 going on and then stops* Me: I guess you vould say it was a gory-ious battle.
what does a make a wish kid and mosquitoes have in common? They Both Got A 10% Survival Rate...
There was once a kid named Timmy. His father & mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them. They all get under the covers Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood curdling scream. "MOMMY WATCH OUT THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his fathers penis in his mouth and chomps down. Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.
What has two legs and bleeds? Half a cat
roses are red my blood is too i see a lot when i lost u
There was a man he came home with his friends from the bar and man; was he ever wasted. Their friends made sure to get him home safely the next morning he woke up and found blood all over his night stand he called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
What's white, black, and red all over?
A zebra who walked into a hunting reserve.
I have WWII in my blood since my great grandfather killed hitler.
Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand. Moments after I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.
Roses are red Your blood is tooyou look like a monkey and belong in a zoo Do not worry i will be there too not in a cage but laghing at you
What's both red, white and sometimes purple?
My arms...
why did the bat cross the road because to get blood bar
what's black and red and is a liquid?
my scars!
Jesus took bread and said: "This is my flesh!" Then he took wine and said: "This is my blood!" Then he took mayonnaise and Peter said: "Holy shit, now we gotta stop him!"
I told my cousin since we're not blood related our parents would let us date.
Her pants were on fire.
blood is red.bruses are blue i ferget the rest...um i hate you...?
Jack and jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy Jack got a surprise and blood shot eyes because jill gave him a roofie
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken was in 666 pieces after being molested by gerard brutally with a rail gun covered in spears covered in his lymph his beak was ripped open and shoved in his feet after glass shards were shoved into his eyes until they came out the other side. His feet were nailed to the ground.
