Blender jokes
A DAY IN THE HAZBIN HOTEL
[The lobby of the Hazbin Hotel. Angel is doing his makeup; Husk is passed out at the bar.]
Alastor: (Appears with a blender and a jar of red liquid) Merely ensuring fresh provisions.
Angel: Margaritas?
Vaggie: (Entering, suspicious) What is that?
Alastor: A certain Sir lost his fizz.
(Alastor turns on the unsecured blender. Red goo sprays everywhere, coating Vaggie, Charlie, and the walls.)
Vaggie: (Screaming, covered) You got Sir Pentious all over my wings!
Charlie: That's not a smoothie!
Angel: (Snapping a photo) Looks like someone’s career just got blended!
Q. What's red and pink and spins around really fast? A. A baby in a blender.
What did the rapper say to his BLENDER?
"Mix it up, yo!"
1 like = 1 small dick whiny conservative in my blender.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.
+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.
1 like = 1 more child in my blender.
What do you call a baby in a blender? A baby blender!
What happens when you put a baby in a blender?
The baby is a cherry smoothie.
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun in a blender.
Crispy, Juicy, Tender, I just put my new-born son in a blender.
What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first?
Watching their expression change.
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
What did the blender say to the orange juice?
"What the fuck are you, you are so fucking stupid, shut the fuck up."
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.
I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.
I blend children to make a good living.
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!
What’s red and very rare?
A baby in a blender.